| Another Amusing Father-in-Law Email |
[27 Sep 2008|09:58am] |
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada (a very underground paper): The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota .
The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history and English majors does one country need?"
|
|
| American Politics |
[20 Sep 2008|09:55am] |
While I try not to post about them, this was posted in the GSA LJ and I was very impressed. No voter is single-issue, and no party is either. However, I felt this is an incredibly good breakdown of the two forefront candidates' stances on gay issues - not just the issues but why they're important to the gay community, something a lot of people DON'T write about.
Also, I'm pretty damn floored at the platform by Bob Barr. It's actually really good.
|
|
| WoW |
[16 Sep 2008|09:46am] |
If you don't play and aren't interested, skip over.
As some of you may know, I run a static 10-man group Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4:30pm PST to 8:00pm; we do KZ on Tu and a partial ZA on Th. Unfortunately, one of my healers has accepted a promotion and will be moving from Florida to Hawai'i at the end of the month, excluding him from raiding for the foreseeable future.
I thought I had him for another week but things have come up very quickly and he's not retired until further notice. This has left my team short a healer.
If any of you WoW-goers are interested in playing alliance (preferably having a healing toon that's 60+ and you're willing to transfer), please let me know and we'll hash out the details. If you're raid ready now, I'm willing to discuss picking up the tab for the transfer.
|
|
| An email from my Father in Law... |
[03 Sep 2008|01:56pm] |
A man is walking through the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her right in front the little girl's screaming parents.
The man runs to the cage, hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl and the man returns her to her terrified parents. A reporter has seen the whole scene and says to the rescuer: "Sir, that was the most gallant and bravest thing I saw a man do in my whole life."
"Why, it was nothing," said the man. "Really, the lion was behind bars and I knew God would protect me just as He did Daniel in the lions' den long, long ago. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt was right."
"I noticed a bible in your pocket. Are you a Republican," asked the journalist.
"Yes, and I'm a Christian on my way to a bible study," the man replies.
"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed... I'm a journalist and tomorrow's paper will have this on the front page." The journalist leaves.
The following morning the man buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on first page:
"Right Wing Republican Christian Fundamentalist Assaults African Immigrant and Steals His Lunch.!"
|
|
| Meme List |
[24 Aug 2008|08:55am] |
I am 5'4 or shorter
I think I'm ugly. - sometimes
I have many scars. (Mainly from when I was little)
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I've had braces.
I wear glasses.
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have had more than 2 piercings.
I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.
( More Below )
|
|
| Relaxing |
[16 Aug 2008|11:03pm] |
Went out this evening and sat on the beach for 2-3 hours. Read until the sun set and then chatted for a while.
Level 23 Mage in Asda Story....getting pretty excited because my next class change is at 24 :D
Ian is writing a game for me, whee~
|
|
| Checkmarks |
[15 Aug 2008|05:58pm] |
Romantic dinner, check.
Epic Play during Sunset on the Beach, check.
I just wanted to remind people love is win ^_^
|
|
| Tidbits |
[13 Aug 2008|09:44pm] |
Asda Story is shaping up to be very interesting. Ian gave it a try tonight.
Invited to a wedding in December...debating attendance.
Hit 102 on my scout in Sword; finally. Almost done vetting my second Bacon, and then I can focus on my veterans (getting them to expert.)
Dyed my hair yesterday; will post pics of it soon.
Having breakfast with a WoW friend on Sunday. He's 15, so we're having it with his parents too. His mother is slightly weirded out, but is resigned.
Bard on the Beach this weekend \o/ getting excited.
|
|
| Snippets |
[10 Aug 2008|10:37pm] |
xainy's made a bunch of progress on my art book, will have to post some of the more interesting ones later.
Had to start over in Spectral Force 3. Any game that backs you into a corner where you cannot return with no warning should have their developers taken out and shot.
Having my first 92e made for me this week (Knuckles for one of my martial artists). Looking forward to trying those puppies out soon. Made several good purchases this week.
Saw Dark Knight today. It was interesting...I like it, it was good.
|
|
| I'm on the far right |
[09 Aug 2008|11:12pm] |
|
|
| More minor rambles |
[06 Aug 2008|10:14pm] |
We ordered some pizza last night for dinner since I was in the middle of a KZ run and Ian was feeling bleh.
Oh KZ, why must you always have one person who acts like they own the run and is a total drama queen? The other 8 people don't act like this.
Made some good deals for some very swaggy armour in Sword. Now I have 2 of the 3 high level armours I need to have a solid party that I can rotate members in and out of as desired.
Played some FFIV today. I'm at the part where I need to retrieve the Earth Crystal. I'm about 10 game hours in. I had the funniest thing happen, too. So I'm fighting Cagnazzo and I'm thinking "This fight is ridiculously hard," but opted to persevere. 45 minutes later, I finally beat the guy...and everyone in my party immediately gained 2 levels XD Guess I was a wee bit underlevel for that fight, eh? XD
I need to take more "augh it is hot, need to cool down" showers, seriously.
Going to visit my aunt in Cranbrook over the September long weekend. More details to follow.
|
|
| Short and Sweet |
[05 Aug 2008|11:16pm] |
Played some FFIV today. Got Cecil to a Paladin.
Did our first static KZ, got to Curator in 3 hours.
Had a meeting, it went well.
Traded in Professor Layton towards the upcoming Harvest Moon games.
Need to poke for a plushie tomorrow.
|
|
| Random Musings |
[04 Aug 2008|11:02pm] |
I like Feta. However, I arguably should not use it as a munchies food.
So I was sort of a bitch in WoW today. I was on my level 63 Paladin with Ian's level 20 Paladin, doing a quest for a very nice mace for him. We wander by a flagged level 20 blood elf, raising a level 70 dead guy. I couldn't resist...hammer to his head. Ian finished off the level 20 easily. So giggling madly, I book it down the road into the nearest instance, which wipes my flag.
So I ride my mount back to Ian, as he's passed by a couple lowbie Horde. Sure enough, one was winding up to smoke him, so I charged up, dismounted, and beat him down with a single crit blow XD After that, he tried AGAIN to attack Ian, so I sat back and let Ian pummel him to death. I think I giggled for about 30 mins straight.
My Grace in Sword is quickly approaching level 102.
Today was a very...weird day. It didn't feel like Monday, it felt like Tuesday. Threw me off most of the day.
|
|
| Mini-Summaries |
[03 Aug 2008|01:22pm] |
Wall-E was very, very good. We're most certainly acquiring it when it comes out on DVD. There were a couple annoying children at the movie but they were only annoying in very small doses.
After the movie, Ian decided to take a...creative route to get back to the car, and stopped at a bubble tea place. I walked along, sat down when I could find a seat. Half an hour later, I realized Ian really shouldn't have been this long, went looking for him and couldn't find him. Go me, left my cell at home, so I popped to the nearest phone booth and left him a message saying I was at X entrance (it went straight to voicemail since Ian was calling my cell at home). I sent him a second voicemail saying I was going to the car (I realized where I was) which he still hasn't gotten...I called him while he was checking his voice mail.
So we ended up spending like an hour looking for each other, and so we decided not to get groceries. Which was awesome, since we pulled up to the intersection by our house just as the skytrain did. Lo and behold does it not spit out Danielle XD Funny coincidence.
Went out to some fireworks last night. They were pretty but fireworks are always rather unmemorable to me. Getting out of there when 500 000 people attended was interesting.
We also bought tickets for two of the four performances of Bard on the Beach. 15th is King Lear, and the 27th is Twelfth Night. They're Shakespeare performances with a twist, so I'm very much looking forward to them (Lear is set in the future when British/French relationships are severed and 12th Night is set in 1920's Hollywood).
|
|
| Movie Time! |
[02 Aug 2008|10:50am] |
|
Going to go see Wall-E today with Ian. Definitely looking foward to seeing it. Om nom nom popcorn.
|
|
| A surprise |
[01 Aug 2008|12:25pm] |
Picked up Professor Layton while I was at the mall on Wednesday. Ian and I both began playing it that night (two separate files) and we both beat it yesterday. While the game is short (10-15 hours), it's incredibly fun and I'm really glad I picked it up.
If you have a DS, even if you're only so-so at puzzling, I strongly encourage you to nab it. I managed to find it for pretty cheap preowned at the local EB, so it's worth the cost.
|
|
| *Wub* |
[15 Jul 2008|08:34pm] |
|
|
|
| Birthday |
[12 Jul 2008|09:00am] |
Licence for Editpad (50$)-- my number one writing tool, and with a registered version I could word count (something very important for both school and RPGamer) without constantly transferring the documents into Word.
Thanks Mom! Muchly appreciated. I now have the fully registered 6.x.x version and it's a significant upgrade from the previous 5.x.x iteration ^^b
|
|
